I am so looking forward to summer!  I need a few lazy, no-schedule, nothing to do but chill days.

It’s been super busy here.  Just completely non-stop — one thing after another:  soccer practices, soccer games, soccer tournaments, baseball practices, baseball play-offs, batting practices, dentist appointments, violin concerts, piano lessons, a family wedding, school science fair projects, school country fair, two haircut appointments, girl scout mommy& me event, girl scout weekend camping, ER visit — and this is all in just the past 5 days.

Oh, and the ER visit?  Yea, that was Rich.  Last night he wakes me up at 1:30am telling me that he hurts “right here” and points the the left side of his chest.  Got my attention right away because 1) the guy never wakes up in the middle of the night, and 2) I’m thinking right away OMG he’s having a heart attack and I would not know what the heck to do if he keeled over right in front of me.  No, I would not know what to do.  I would panic, for sure.  I’d freak and call 911 – but then what?  Pop aspirin into his mouth?  Start pounding on his chest?  (Seriously, I need to review heart attack procedures one of these days.)
Anyway, so I ask him if his left arm hurts, and he tells me no, that only his chest hurts when he breathes in deeply.  So then I think, Okay….sounds like a respiratory-thing, perhaps his lungs? He has had this very annoying cough for weeks now, congestion that he just chumps off as “the end of a cold”  even though I’ve told him he needs to be seen by a doctor because it’s just been going on too long and he sounds awful.  But he’s stubborn.  Very much so.  And he never went in to be seen.  Right away I think it’s probably turned into a pneumonia or bronchitis or something like that, and the heart attack thought pretty much left my mind, but not Rich’s.  I think being in pain “right there”  scared him a bit, and he just kept whining and complaining and keeping me up.  Yes, I got a bit annoyed with him, and although that sounds awful, let me give you the dialog and you tell me if this wouldn’t begin to annoy YOU:

HIM:   Yea…um…it’s still hurting. (pacing our room, hand on his chest)
ME:  (lifting my head off of the pillow, yet again)   Okay, well…what can I do for you?  How can I help?
HIM:   You can’t.  It just hurts.
ME:  Do you want to come lie back down?  Try to sleep?
HIM:   No.  It hurts worse when I lie down.
ME:   Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the hospital?
HIM:   No, no.  I can wait until morning.
ME:   You sure?
HIM:  Yeah.
ME:  Okay then…well, I’m going back to sleep.  Unless you want me to stay up with you?
HIM:  No, I’m okay.  Go back to sleep.
ME:  Okay.

one minutes passes.

HIM:  Man, I think it’s getting worse.
ME:   Okay, let’s go to the ER.
HIM:  No.
ME:    Is this a money-thing?  You don’t want to pay for an ER visit?  Is that it?
HIM:  No, I just don’t want to over-react.
ME:  But you’re in pain.  Plus, you’re keeping me up.
HIM:  Go back to sleep, then.
ME:    Well, I would.  But you keep talking.
HIM:  I can’t help it.  It hurts.
ME:  If it hurts that much, we should go to the hospital.
HIM:   No, I don’t need to.

two minutes pass, I think I almost fall asleep again…and then:

HIM:  It just really hurts!
ME:  (getting out of bed now)  OMG, let’s go.  Get in the car.
HIM:  Okay, yea…maybe I better.

So I drive him to the hospital ER – which for us is just about a 2 minute drive down the hill – and Rich is huffing and puffing and making little pain sounds as we drive, and I’m taken back to all the times (before I began homebirthing)  that he’s driven me to the hospital when I’m in labor.  Now I was the one doing the driving and he’s in the passenger seat, uncomfortable and in pain.  So the tables turn, then.  I’m wondering if I should look for a few speed bumps to go over at 30 miles an hour?  He did that to me a few times on our drives to the hospital and I guess I haven’t forgiven him for that yet!  There’s nothing quite like hitting speed bumps during a painful and intense contraction.
We soon get to the ER entrance, and he gets out and walks towards the automatic doors, and I yell out the window, “Okay, honey…text me when you’re done so I can pick you up!”  He waves at me, and that’s that.  I drive back home.
I know what you’re thinking.  I’m a crappy wife, right?  To just drop him off like that?  Well, I left sleeping children at home, so I needed to get back (although our 15, 18, and 20 year olds were home and they are perfectly capable of babysitting)   Okay, I’ll be honest:  I was tired!  Besides, at that point I knew my husband was in safe hands; he could walk and talk and all that.  He was fine!  Probably a respiratory-thing, like I said.  He did not need me in there.  Before you all hate me for leaving him there alone, just know that is was at his insistence that I drop him off and pick him up later.   He wanted me to get back home in case Aria woke up.
So I go home, get back into my warm bed, and settle in… sending Rich good health vibes as I drift back to sleep.
About a half hour later, I hear my phone receive a text message. I reach over to the night stand and lift the phone up to my blurry, sleepy eyes and try to read the text.  It’s from Rich, of course.
They saw me right away.  Not a heart attack.

I text back:

Good to know!  

and I put my phone back on the night stand, roll over, and fall back asleep.

About a half hour later, another text wakes me up.  It’s now 2:45am.

I’m almost done here.  No need to pick me up.  I’ll walk home.

Yeah, right, I’m thinking.  Now he’s just trying to make me feel guilty.

Walk home.  
At 3:00am.  
Uphill all the way.   
After a visit from the ER.  
Yea, rite! As if!
Now, while I may not be the perfect wife, I am definitely not cruel!

So I text back:

I don’t think so!

And…I fall back asleep.
The next text comes not too long after the last one.

Done now.

So I read that and think, okay…time to get up and drive down to the hospital to pick him up.  But then Aria (who has been sleeping next to me) starts to stir a bit, waking up.  So I take the time to cuddle her back to sleep, and the next thing I know it’s 20 minutes after his last text!  I must have fallen back asleep!  Damn! So I jump out of bed, get into my car and take off down the street.  I’m thinking there is NO WAY he would sit there and wait for me for 20 minutes.  He is just not like that.  I had a feeling that after a few minutes had passed and I did not come, he would have started to walk home, and I was feeling kinda guilty about that.
Sure enough, I’m barely turning onto the main highway that leads to the hospital, and there he is, walking on the sidewalk in the direction of home.  It’s 3:30 in the morning and my husband is walking home from the ER.  Nice.
So I flip a quick U-turn and pull up alongside him.  He sees me and smiles, coming over to the car.  He gets in.
ME:   I’m so sorry!  Aria woke up and I cuddled her back to sleep, and I fell asleep!
HIM:   Don’t worry!  I told you I’d walk home.  Don’t even worry about it. You should have stayed asleep.
So that’s the story.  It turns out that I was right;  the chest x-ray showed that he has some condition with a fancy medical name that I cannot recall, but in laymen’s terms he has fluid between the two linings of his lung which was causing him pain when he breathed deeply.  So now he’s on a 5-day antibiotic and it should clear up soon :)

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  1. says

    Playing catch up on here. This one made me laugh. It is pretty much exactly any given scenario that takes place within our lives. The joy and wonder of a ton of kids, I have learned, has taken the emergent criteria to new lows. You’re moving air, you still have 3 pints of blood…or at least a good one and a half to two….and your limbs are all working. I totally see it and laugh with you. I especially liked the text “Not a heart attack” and the reply of, “Good to know.” Glad all is well and you got your extra 20 minutes in! LOL!

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