Fourteen has always been my favorite and “lucky” number. The reason for this is that I was born on the 14th, so I’ve always held a fondness for that number. So even after five miscarriages in a row, it shouldn’t surprise me that THIS pregnancy held. Because, after all, it’s my 14th pregnancy. Lucky. And at the age of 43, I do consider myself very lucky that I am blessed with another pregnancy. I thought my fertile years were behind me, but surprise! Turns out they weren’t. One more pregnancy.
I’ve always had easy pregnancies. So far this one is no different than all the rest. And I’ve always had BIG babies. My smallest baby was born at 8 pounds 1 ounce, and my largest was born at 10 pounds 7 ounces. I expect this little guy to be no less than 8 pounds and no more than 10 pounds 7 ounces. But maybe I’ll have an 11 pounder, or a 7 pounder. I mean, you just never know.
My last 3 babies were born at home. After a while, I just got tired of going to the hospital. I wanted to try something different. I no longer wanted a doctor delivering our babies; I wanted my husband to deliver our babies! But of course a hospital wouldn’t allow that, so with our #7 we just decided to do it at home. So we hired a midwife to oversee everything, and that birth went so well, we decided to do it again for the next one and the next one.
And this one! If all goes as expected, we will deliver this little guy at home, too. In water. My home births were all water births. They were so much fun. (yes, FUN…hard to believe, I know. But they were!) So if all goes well, this little guy will be born in water, too.
I say, “If all goes well” because you just never know. First of all, my last labor was only 1 hour and 45 minutes from start to finish, and we barely had time to fill up the birthing pool. So if this one comes even quicker, maybe we won’t have a water birth. Maybe there will be no time for that. No birth is ever guaranteed on how it will go, so that’s why I say, “If all goes well.” Maybe this baby will be breech and I’ll need a c-section? I hope not, but hey, you just never know. Things happen.
I was pregnant for the first time at age 23, and here I am pregnant at age 43. I’ve taken so many home pregnancy tests during those years. Twenty years of peeing on sticks, with fourteen of those tests showing a “positive” sign. Twenty years of pregnancies and nursing a baby. Twenty years of diaper changes and potty training.
Of course I don’t have to tell you all that I LOVE this — I love every single second of it. (well, maybe not the first few weeks of morning sickness, but all the rest of it!)
And I’d do it again and again, if it weren’t for my age. Yep, I’m getting older. And with that comes old and unhealthy eggs. And with that comes miscarriages. And the truth is, I just don’t want any more losses. I want to end my fertility on a positive.
So this baby will be our last, and I’m not so sad about that. At least, not yet. I’m sure I will be later on. But for now, I feel pretty okay with it. In fact, ending it on my lucky #14 almost feels like it was meant to be.