am I pro-choice?

I know that no one will be surprised to know that I don’t agree with abortion.   Just come into my home and you will see my opinion on the subject:
Note the two signs on our fridge —  
one reads: 
ABORTION? What part of Thou Shall Not Kill don’t you understand?   
and the other reads:  
Heart is Beating 24 days after conception

The first sign:  definitely spiritual, as it refers to God’s commandments.
The second sign:  factual. science. It’s a beating heart, people…not just a clump of cells.

I feel to be equal to all who enter our home, both arguments should be represented, because it’s a fact that not all people who enter my house share our same religious beliefs.  But it’s hard to argue the facts of biology, you know what I’m saying?
Not that it matters to some, but still.  I gotta try.
My personal feeling is that abortion is not the right answer for an “unwanted” or “unplanned” pregnancy.  Nine months isn’t all that much time (in the scope of a lifetime) to sacrifice for another human being to have a shot at life, to be adopted by a mother and father who will give it love.  The abortion “option” in my opinion is the most selfish choice of all, mostly made for convenience  (not ready to have a child, it’s not the right timing, not the father I would want for my baby, etc)   How women could choose abortion over adoption — would rather kill their baby than to give it up for adoption — is not understandable to me.  And I’m not saying this to be mean or judgmental.  I’m really not.  I honestly just cannot understand the logic in that way of thinking.
That being said, I’m not quite sure that I would vote to end the legality of abortion.  I know, that seems quite contradictory, doesn’t it?  But the fact is this:  the practice of abortion has been around long before the passing of Roe vs. Wade.  When it wasn’t legal, desperate woman (and young girls) would pay the “back alley abortionists” to do the job, or they would attempt to do it themselves….and many of them had complications or even died because of that.  We cannot convince all people that abortion is wrong, so there will always be those who choose it.  And the thought of a scared and confused 15 year old in the care of such butchers, putting her life at risk,  doesn’t seem at all right to me.
But on the flip side of that, perhaps if it wasn’t legal, more women would choose to carry the pregnancy to term?  Maybe the fear of the “back alley abortion” and the possibility of DEATH would be enough in itself for the woman (or young girl) to seek other options?  Adoption, maybe?
I don’t know if my conflicted feelings means that I man “pro-choice” — I’d hate to think I am pro-choice.  I don’t believe I fit the description of someone who is pro-choice.  Afterall, don’t pro-choicers believe:  “It’s MY body, MY right.”  ???    I definitely do not believe that!  Those who believe that it’s their body and they have the right to do what they want with it  (getting an abortion)  are actually being very hypocritical.  If you truly believe that it’s your body, your right…doesn’t that same right apply to everyone who has a body?  Shouldn’t everyone have that very same right that you are claiming to have?  If so, the baby inside you  should have that right.  At just 8 weeks gestation, it has a beating heart, arms, legs, fingers, toes, eyelids…is that not a body?  A person?  Even science cannot deny that it is.  So, in keeping to “your right” then you are  in fact taking away that very same right from someone else.   So no, I don’t agree with the “It’s MY body, MY right”  defense.  Once there is someone else living inside of my body, my decisions with MY body do not just effect ME.  So how could I make the decision to destroy someone else’s body, if I TRULY believed the “It’s MY body, MY right” claim?
Do you see the contradiction there?  I know that not all do.  Most people don’t WANT to see the contradiction there.   Either they are in denial, because having had a past abortion, the pain of realizing such a thing would be too painful.  In  that case, my heart truly goes out to them. (I don’t condemn those who have made that choice.  I do not judge at all.  Instead, my heart hurts for them and for their lost little ones.)   Or there are some who simply refuse to believe that a child as small as an 8 week old in the womb has the right to life, even with a body that has a beating heart, arms, legs, fingers and toes.  Oh, and eyelids.  Undeniably human.  They should not have the same rights as us (the MY body, MY right) because they cannot yet speak for themselves?  How unfair is that?  We were all that small once.  There was a time when we all could not speak for ourselves.   There was a time when we were all dependent on our mother’s body to keep us alive.  Were WE any less human at that time in our development?
Anyway, I’m just wondering if I would be considered pro-chioce if I did not vote to end legal abortion.   Would it mean I defend a woman’s right to CHOOSE?  Because I don’t.  I don’t believe women should have the right to kill a developing, unborn baby — no matter if its in her body or someone else’s. (isn’t it strange how if you kill a pregnant woman, you are not only charged with her murder but the murder of her unborn child? Two counts of homicide.  But yet…it’s considered O.K. to kill a baby through a planned abortion.) I don’t WANT anyone to choose abortion.  I don’t AGREE with the abortion choice. I don’t believe that IT’S MY BODY, MY RIGHT —  But yet I don’t want women to DIE when trying to rid themselves of an unwanted pregnancy.  So then, I guess I believe that they should have the option to have a medically safe abortion available to them.

The option?
A choice?
Pro-choice, then.
Ugh.  I just don’t know what to call myself.

“I am a hitman.  I take pay from somebody to kill their child.”
 quote from an abortionist, admitting that what he does is, in fact,  murder.

I think that if I could, if it was all in my control,  I would change the rules a bit.  If a woman chooses abortion, I would like for it to be a rule that before the procedure begins, that she have the chance to make a last second change of mind.  I would like for her to be given an ultrasound right before the procedure starts, where the doctor show hers, “Okay…today you are 9 weeks along….and there is your baby, right there…see the arm?  and…let’s see…there’s the head and, oh – right there — you see the eyes?  and over here is the tiny feet….”

Project Ultrasound

and then I want the doctor to print a photo of that little one, turn off the machine, hand the ultrasound photo to the mother and ask her, “Okay.  We are ready to begin the procedure.  Are you sure you still want the abortion?”

How many of those women would still say YES?
I wonder.
At least this would be, in a way, giving that little baby a voice, if only for the minute.  A chance to say, “Hey look!  Here I am!  I have fingers and toes and eyes…I’m a person!  I’m your baby.  I want to live.”
Some people will say it would be too cruel and conflicting to do that to that to a woman, when she is forced to make such a difficult choice.  Hmmmm.     Isn’t it just as cruel, if not more so,  to destroy another human being without at least letting him/her be “heard” first?  Even  an evil murderer gets a trial, gets to plead his case, before being sentenced to execution.  

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  1. says

    HI Katrina,
    You raise an interesting question. I am with you, 100% on being against abortion. I don’t have the same questioning, actually though. I believe, in every circumstance, that there is a better option than abortion, and therefore, it should be illegal. I think we should take the funding that Planned Parenthood currently receives and redirect those funds to Crisis Pregnancy centers. They are non-denominational and many can offer all of the same services (except abortive practices) that PP offers. Screenings, prenatal care, even. Then, this should be publicized to the point that every woman in a crisis pregnancy knows that she has somewhere to turn. That true help is available.
    If you think about it, no one in the US resorts to slavery anymore. It was once thought to be the only way farmers, plantation owners, etc. could afford to survive. It was outlawed, based on the fact that all men are created equal. Protections were put in place. We evolved spiritually and mentally, and now Americans are shocked and amazed that anything like that could ever happen in our country. Abortion is the same story. We need to get people to the point where killing the innocent unborn is shocking, and people are horrified to think it ever happened in this country. I pray that day comes.
    Blessings to you, and thank you for standing up for the unborn. I wish more people would speak out as you do. God Bless! Megan

  2. says

    Megan, you have some excellent points. Thank you for commenting. Your comparison to slavery is something that had never occurred to me, and you are so right on about that. Perhaps you’d like to do a cross-post and share your vies on the subject? If only to widen the audience, as the people who follow your blog don’t necessarily follow mine…and the more people who hear this message, the better!

  3. says

    Hey I just found you from Sandi Benson’s blog. And I think you are so amazingly brave for posting this. I agree with you 100% and it was very refreshing to read. And you phrased it beautifully. Awesome post.

  4. Joan says

    Oh i love hearing all the different opinions! and i’m with you on a lot of it. abortion is personally something i would/could never do. a baby is a person, no matter how old an no matter what circumstances. however, i agree with you that making it illegal will not stop girls who do chose to have them (i also agree with you that i do not judge those for their choices). however, sometimes i have to take circumstances into consideration. i live in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood, with both parents that have been married my entire life, where my siblings can play on the streets and my parents don’t have to worry about their safety. i don’t know what it’s like to be a teen in a situation like some are forced to be in today, with rape and sexual abuse on the rise. i can’t imagine what some teens have to go through when making such tough decisions, i just can’t. while i would never consider abortion for myself (no matter what the situation) not every girl has a loving husband/boyfriend, parents they can talk to, or a safe environment for themselves and the baby. i believe all girls should be taught all their options, especially the adoption approach. i am very for adoption! i just wish this was a black and white decision, when really there’s a lot of grey area

  5. Anonymous says

    I am a fairly liberal woman in her mid twenties. But, I also don’t agree with abortion. I think it’s sad for the mother and the baby and all in all, it’s just a traumatic thing. That being said, I would never ever tell someone not to get an abortion. It’s not up to me to decide if someone should be able to get an abortion or not. I can choose to never get one myself but I think it’s a little much to say that someone I don’t know should have to have their baby… unless maybe I was planning to help that mother in some way.
    So, although I think abortion is terrible and sad, I am pro-choice. It has nothing to do with ‘my body, my choice’ or whatever and I’m pretty sure that not all pro-choice people think that way…I mean, I definitely do not. I just think more along your lines… if we take away safe, legal abortions, people will still seek them out, as they have for the past like 60/70 years.

  6. says

    Katrina, I will do a cross post. This is actually one of the reasons I started a blog – I just get so wrapped up in family, it slipped away from me. Thanks for the idea, and the reminder!
    PS – your Andrew is gorgeous, and I cannot believe a kid that little can ride a dirt bike! WOW!

  7. Renee says

    I feel torn on this one. An unborn baby is a life, or more precisely, the potential for a life. But that potential cannot be realized without the mother. So, for example, when people ask: “Would you kill your child to save your own life?”, most sane mothers would say “never!” However, if you are pregnant and develop a life-threatening condition the treatment of which could (or would) result in the termination of your pregnancy, some (but, by no means all) mothers would agree to get the treatment, if only because the mother’s death would surely result in the baby’s death as well, not to mention the impact on other children at home, if she has them. I fall squarely into this camp. I believe a pregnancy is a beautiful gift of potential life and, even if unplanned or unwanted, should be treated with the respect it deserves. However, I believe the mother’s life always takes precedence over her unborn baby. So, for example, a story from the news: A teengage girl from a very strict Muslim family gets pregnant. She believes – with good reason – that her father would beat or possibly kill her if he ever found out she were pregnant. She has no money or resources of her own. I pity that poor girl more than anything, and I can understand why she would get an abortion. Until we can eradicate all of the mysogyny in the world and the violence towards women, I would never support a ban on abortion, even if I myself would never have one.

  8. says

    You make some very interesting points. I too believe that there are far better options for unwanted/unplanned pregnancies and feel adoption should definitely come first over abortion. It seems today it is used more and more as ‘birth control’ when there are far better options to consider beforehand. And I don’t believe it’s right to use for that purpose.

    However, pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion (<—my post on the subject). And not all ‘abortions’ are performed for unwanted pregnancies. I struggled for a long time bringing myself to call myself “pro-choice” because society really does seem to view that as pro-abortion.

  9. Anonymous says

    Heya. Im Kinda like you I dont like abortion But I also dont like taking away another womans right to that choice. I dont think I would care if I found out I was Pregnant (Im only 19) I would still want to keep and raise and love my child. So I always say if/when Im asked my opinion ‘Just because it is not my choice does mean I have the right to take another womans right to have that choice and I do not have the right to Judge another woman for making that choice’ anyway on a cherrier note I just found your blog and I love it Im just catching up on your past posts :) lol I would love to have a family as big as yours :)
    L x0x0x

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