The other day I ripped up a bunch of my old white sheets into long strips and made ten-year-old Avery into a “mummy” for her Girl Scout “Trunk or Treat” event (her troop had a mummy theme) This was done in the last twenty minutes before we had to leave, and despite the rush, I thought the make-shift costume came out quite cute! Since she is going to be Alice in Wonderland on Halloween, I knew this mummy costume wouldn’t be worn by her again this year. So I got an idea.
ME: Avery, make sure you save all those strips of cloth. I might want to be a mummy on Halloween!
AVERY: Mom, no. It won’t fit you.
ME: Won’t fit me? It’s a bunch of cloth strips! How can it not fit me?
AVERY: Mom, you know.
What I know is that you think I’m too big to wrap a bunch of cloth strips around me. Thanks a lot, Sweetie. Way to be supportive.
What is it about daughters? Well, at least my daughters. They have no filters when it comes to talking to me. They just say it as they see it without thinking of how it might sound or make me feel. It’s like they think I am immune to insults.
My sons…they’d never say that to me. If I said I wanted to wear one of their costumes for Halloween, they would think HOW COOL is THAT? My mom wants to be a Ninja for Halloween! They would never in a million years tell me that I’m too big to wear it. They might know this in their heads, but they would automatically be thinking of ways that they could modify it somehow to make it work. But my girls will shut me down right away. Oh, Mom…don’t be ridiculous. This won’t fit YOU.
Another example…
The other day sixteen-year-old Afton was running late and said she wanted to miss her first period class to have more time to get ready.
ME: Afton, you still have a lot of time to get ready. You have a half hour.
AFTON: To shower, dry my hair and get ready? Mom, I don’t think so.
ME: It only takes me twenty minutes to do all that. You can do it.
AFTON: That’s because you’re old. It doesn’t take you long because you don’t care what you look like.
ME: What?!! I do so care what I look like!
AFTON: Mom, it’s not the same.
Seriously, was that comment necessary? What did I ever do to her?!!
Girls….lovely daughters of mine…if you are reading your dear mother’s blog, let me just tell you this: I have feelings, too! Quit insulting me! Remember, I am the one who buys your clothes and gives you the car keys. The old saying, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you” applies here. Use your filters! I know you must have them, or else you wouldn’t have so many friends. You might think these insulting things, sure. But you don’t say them! Almost every woman knows this. Learn this valuable social skill, and practice it here in the home!
I only have boys, so I usually don’t get such brutal honesty.
Once, my son asked me this, though….”Mom, do I look like you?” I answered that he looked a lot like me. Then he said, “Then do I have a big nose?”