photo courtesty Google.com
Okay, okay… I know this photo caption is in bad taste, and so unlike me to post on my big family lov’n blog. But I just couldn’t help it. It made me laugh! A clown car! Oh wow, I’m laughing at that and I know I shouldn’t be. But I am!
All kidding aside, though, I have to say that I really, really like the Duggar family. I know not everyone does, but I really do. And not just because they have a bazillion kids. Even if they only had nine kids (only!) I would like this family. Even if they just had two kids, I would still like this family. They just seem like really nice people. They are raising their kids to be kind, helpful, unselfish human beings. They seem to speak to each other with kindness and respect. They do a lot of humanitarian work as a family. They are living according to their morals and beliefs, and from what I can see on tv and from what I read about this family, they seem like the kind of people I’d like living next door to me. Yes, ALL of them! I think that all nineteen of those kids would make great peers for my kids to grow up with.
We are not like that family, though. I doubt Jim-Bob and Michelle would want their kids hanging with mine. There are a few differences:
- We don’t dress all that modestly (girls in dresses, boys in collar shirts… just not our style!)
- We don’t “home church” and we aren’t Baptist.
- We only homeschool the elementary ages.
- Our kids go to “regular” school for middle school and high school.
- Our kids are allowed to date at age 16 or 17.
- We don’t always speak in sweet, soft, patient voices.
- We sometimes yell.
- We let our kids listen to “regular” music on the radio.
- We allow our kids to dance. Dancing is fun, even if it might look “provocative” at times.
- We all watch tv. Not a lot, but we do have tv’s in the home.
And there are many more differences, I’m sure. We are certainly not the Duggars! In some ways, I’d like to be more like them. I admire them for their family values and the way they raise their children. Sometimes I compare myself to Michelle (the mama) and I don’t feel that I quite measure up. Sigh. She just seems to have it SO together over there. And her kids are so darn sweet and respectful. And cooperative! They make good reality tv. If we did a reality tv show over here, who would watch? We aren’t all that interesting with only nine kids! Half the time I’m running around, flying by the seat of my pants, yelling at kids to hurry up and get into the car, forgetting things, scraping together a meal, going through the drive-through when the meal wasn’t planned ahead, and I spend way too much time on the computer when I could be/should be doing laundry, the dishes, reading the Bible, etc. Who would want to see all that chaos and unorganization? Not me. I doubt I’d tune into a show like that. What would I learn from it? The reason I watch the Duggar’s show is so that I can improve on my methods over here. I learn from them. Not only that, but that family inspires me. I feel uplifted whenever I watch it. I never felt uplifted whenever I’d watch Jon & Kate Plus 8. It’s just not even close to the same! Kate is so… not nice, and I like nice.
photo courtesy Google.com
The BIG NEWS is that the Duggars are now expecting baby #20. And everyone is making such a big deal about it. But really, is it such a surprise? Everyone knows by now that they let God handle that area of their lives, right? So I’m not all that surprised that she’s pregnant again. If you are not preventing pregnancy, then chances are you’ll get pregnant. So no, I’m not surprised at all.
But I’ll tell you what I am. I’m a bit envious. Yea, that’s right, I’m saying it. I’m envious that she is pregnant again and she’s 45 years old, when I’m just 42 and can’t seem to get a sticky pregnancy anymore. What’s the deal? Aren’t her eggs older than mine? Isn’t her progesterone getting a bit low, too? I had my last baby at age 39, and I’ve been pregnant four times since then. Two of those went to about the 10th week before I miscarried, and the other two were positive pregnancy results that only last about a week or two. Is Michelle having these early losses, too, but just chooses not to share them with the world? I don’t blame her, if so. It’s a very personal and private thing. But I’d really like to know.
The thing that is getting them some harsh comments now, however, is the fact that her last pregnancy was such a complication. It endangered her health, and her baby was born 3 months early. So people naturally assumed that she would stop pressing her luck, would quit while she was ahead, and would have retired her uterus after #19. I honestly think I would call it quits after an experience like that. But I am not Michelle. She has her own walk in life, and she has her own faith in God, and who am I to sit back and tell her what SHE should do? I really hope that she has no complications with this pregnancy, and that she delivers a healthy baby. A new addition to the family is always such a joy and a blessing, no matter how many kids you already have!
photo courtesy Google.com
Not everyone out there likes or admires the Duggars, or agrees with their choices on having children. The way I see it is that they aren’t hurting anyone. They are not living off the welfare system. In fact, they live completely debt free. How many of us can claim that? They aren’t in any way a burden on our society. Yeah, there’s a lot of them, but those kids are going to grow up just fine. They are happy kids, and they clearly enjoy all their siblings and their lifestyle.
But still, despite all the good, this family gets plenty of hate sent their way. I just don’t get that, to be honest. They are raising children that are going to be productive and positive contributors in our society. They are raising children with morals and strong convictions based on their faith in God. What is wrong with that? Here’s a question for you: Would you rather your child grow up to marry one of the Duggars? or a Kardashian? Which family do you think is less likely to have a drug or alcohol problem? or a teen pregnancy crisis? or a bunch of divorces and kids by other fathers, etc? I know which family I’d rather have family gatherings with, which family I’d rather share grandchildren with. What about you?
I admire the Duggar’s, I would love to meet them some day. They might not be the average family, but we do know one thing is that no matter what difficulties they are going through they are always together. How many marriages can you count out of celebrities or regular families that are together?? Very few…People who have bad comments about them are actually sending blessings there way, because if you didn’t know as long as they envy you they will never have what they want until they start to realize what they have done.
I often wonder what people have to say about me (we have 6). I know they are talking because we do not have the normal (three kids). I do not homeschool at all (I am in college myself) and I am pretty much raising them on my own as my husband has been home a total of 9 months in 3.5 years. I am not to the dating part yet, my oldest is only 15. My youngest is 2. I always wondered about the miscarriage thing myself. I had three losses, but two were back to back, then I had my now 10 year old, and then another loss. But, then I had three healthy pregnancies back to back.
I do love taht they stay so calm. I wish I had their paitence.
I really like how you describe your family, it is much closer to my experience than the “perfect family” we might or might not get to see on T.V.. I appreciate the Duggars as well, but I don´t feel like their family is a model to replicate. I think it is an example to help us all understand that most of us can handle more children than we think is possible even though they might not be “the perfect kids” by the dress & speech code standards the Duggars keep. Anyway, may God bless both them and your family! And maybe, maybe one of your kids will eventually marry one of the Duggars! That will be a real “reality show”!
interesting post. i’m curious now if the older ones go to college. wish they would say so on the show.
i’m sorry about how your feeling, i had no idea you’ve had 4 pregnancies since aria. hugs to you!!!
Some people need to get their facts right! The older children do CollagePlus! Which is colleage at home. Jessa is a volunteer for the fire service and they all have frienS outside of their family. They are beautiful people, and if more families in our society were like them then perhaps the majority of our society wouldn’t be upside down!
I have so many problems with this family. I didn’t when I started watching 3 years ago…but between the not being able to have an unmonitored conversation with a prospective fiancé/fiancee, no higher education, no options or aspirations for the girls other than motherhood & this Christian side hug business. They do this with their own children. It’s sick sick sick & says something about their own minds. lastly, because of all the taboos around their bodies & sex, you know none of them will ever have successful, fulfilling sex lives.
Mari
NY
The ‘problem’ I have with the Duggar family is that they don’t encourage education. Yes they homeschool, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing!! But have you heard a child talk about hopes of college? The oldest 6 are college-age, and not one is furthering their education. Also, the girls are not encouraged to be independent and have part-time (or full-time!) jobs of their own (I mean the adult daughters)… if they did, they could work towards their own educations (obviously sending 19 kids to college would be soooo difficult!)
The family is so interesting, and I really admire a lot of their techniques and ways of life, but I can’t get past the above
I have to be honest . . . I’ve never watched the Duggars’ show . . . Maybe I should start (I have to watch on the computer over here so not sure how many seasons I should go back) . . . but I hear about them, and I think it’s pretty awful how critical people are of their lifestyle, yet idolize people like the Kardashians . . . ugh. btw, I think this is the first time I’ve left you a comment (although I’ve been following for awhile:)
Barb
nicely said! I 100% agree with all of this.
I like watching the Duggars too and it makes me want to go back and do some things way differently. It just didn’t occur to me back then to…….whatever. And my husband? He’s a good one but not a Jim Bob and I’m not a Michelle so I think we’ll just continue to treasure our two and leave it at that. YOu are truly blesses too.