We were out of town to attend Grandma Bernadette’s funeral. Her church service was beautiful, and the reception afterwards filled her home with many people. There was hardly any room to move around — it was that crowded with her family and friends. I kept looking around the room, and I couldn’t help thinking that she would have enjoyed the gathering very much.
I think we should have our funerals before we die. That way, we can be there with ALL the people who would gather for us if we were to pass away. It’s funny (in sad way) that people will stop their lives, call in sick to work, drive for hours, hop on a plane, cancel other plans, etc. to attend a person’s funeral… but when that same person just 4 months ago invited them to a family reunion or a birthday party, or even something as simple as going out to lunch, they couldn’t make the time to be there. But they will stop everything to attend that person’s funeral. I’m guilty of this, too. I’m not throwing stones. I’m just observing something that is all too common.
One of my most favorite shows growing up was Little House on the Prairie, and there is this one episode that totally pertains to what I’m saying in this post. There was this little old lady who was getting on in her years, and she kept writing to her kids to come see her. All she wanted was for them to make the trip to see her, to stay a few days and bring her grandchildren. But they always wrote back that they were too busy, that maybe “next year” they would make the trip. And the old woman was very fed up with them and their excuses. So she got an idea. She had a letter sent to her children informing them that she had passed away, and the funeral day and time had been set. So on the day of the funeral, she hid and watched everyone mourn for her. Then she came out to join the reception party. Her children were furious at her trick! But she said, “It was the only way you’d come to see me!”
I think about that episode now. A lot.
Oh how true that is. I am currently preparing for my brother in laws funeral. Scanning photos, working on memory books for his children and my sister….death is hard. I wish he had known how many people really cared for him and loved him, then maybe we wouldn’t be doing this funeral! I need to remember to love and spend time with the ones we have now because they can leave and be gone in a blink of an eye.
sorry about grandma bernadette. i’m sorry for all your regrets but know that you also have many things that you are glad you did with her, for her, etc. i like your idea about the before i die party
I’m glad that the funeral went as well as these things can, and that lots of people turned out to pay their respects. But, it’s really sad to think that only that short time ago, people didn’t turn up for her birthday celebrations. This really should be a lesson for us all to bear in mind. Love what the grandma did in that episode of Little House on the Prairie!!
you know, katrina, you shed light on things i don’t think about regularly…this is so true. makes me want to contact my grandfather immediately
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I totally agree with your comments about making time to see people and spend time with them before they pass away. My cousin and I planned a big family reunion one year so everyone could come see our aging grandparents. It was lots of fun, but hardly any of my other cousins attended, and then my Grandma passed away a few months later. I was so happy we had made the effort to be there with her for that reunion. Safe travels.