- answering emails
- paying my bills
- blogging
- reading blogs
- buying things
I will go online to do one simple thing.
One simple thing that will only take 5 minutes.
I tell myself this.
But then…
the temptation begins.
I read an email, and then respond to it.
Then another, and another.
I check on my favorite blogger to see what she is up to…
then another, and then another.
And then…what is this?
a link within a post to a new blog that I’ve never read before! Oh, the excitement!
Let me just take a quick look. click!
Oh…she’s so funny! She’s going to be my new favorite, I can tell.
Let me just read a bit more….
and a bit more.
And let me just quickly respond to this one post of hers…
you know, because I’m a new “friend” and all.
And before I know it, 5 minutes turns into a half hour
or even an hour.
Or maybe even more.
Eventually I walk away from the computer feeling like crap.
Feeling like a big mommy fail.
Because during that time, during that hour or more…
my 4 year old asked me to play with her
and my 6 year old sat quietly near me, playing on his iPod
and my 8 year old came up to me six different times to complain about something
or to ask me a question
and my 9 year old quickly kissed me on the cheek and said, “Bye, mom!”
before he ran out the door to play
and my 17 year old sat in her room
with only 8 months left before she goes away to college.
I could have been in her room, flopped on her bed, talking with her.
I could have been playing tea party with my 4 year old.
I could have been reading with my 6 and 8 year olds.
I could have been throwing a baseball with my 9 year old.
And my 21, 19, 13 and 11 year olds…
where were they all this time?
They all could have had my presence in one way or another.
But instead they just had me home.
Which isn’t the same. Not even a little bit.
What I describe above doesn’t happen all the time.
Just more times than I’d like it to.
And it’s not just the computer.
When they are talking to me about something important
When they are talking to me about something important
or even something not so important
how often am I looking down at my iPhone
instead of looking directly at them?
That silly little gadget of mine…
not even human
yet it can hold my attention longer than my own kids.
Sometimes.
Okay, a lot of the time.
More often than I’d like to admit to.
What am I missing out on, while I’m so distracted?
What conversations might I be having?
What stories? What secrets?Enough is enough. I’m making some changes.
From now on my computer time is early in the morning
and later at night
when they are all sleeping.
And I’ll keep the phone inside my purse until I need it.
how often am I looking down at my iPhone
instead of looking directly at them?
That silly little gadget of mine…
not even human
yet it can hold my attention longer than my own kids.
Sometimes.
Okay, a lot of the time.
More often than I’d like to admit to.
What am I missing out on, while I’m so distracted?
What conversations might I be having?
What stories? What secrets?Enough is enough. I’m making some changes.
From now on my computer time is early in the morning
and later at night
when they are all sleeping.
And I’ll keep the phone inside my purse until I need it.
If a call comes in while my kids in are conversation with me
I will ignore it.
I will ignore it!
I will ignore it!
Voicemail is a great thing.
I will play, talk, read, and really listen.
More.
And I will do all this undistracted.
And I will do all this undistracted.
I will no longer just be HOME.
I will be PRESENT.
Oh pooh… I feel like that with my one. I take work home and she just want to sit next to me and play on the calculator. I should be playing tea-parties instead.
I’m often just here and not really present. I brush most of it off as well, I’m WORKING. And a lot of the time, that is true(the joys of being a work-at-home mom) but then there are other times when I’m not really working, but just playing around on the computer or taking care of something that could actually wait a little bit- instead of being present. Something to work on for sure.
I think most of us moms can relate to this post in some way. Even if it is not a technology related distraction, it’s a let me just fold this load of laundry or let me just finish load the dishwasher. I can think of a million things I do instead of engaging with my children during this very important time of their lives.
Good for you! I can’t wait to hear how great you do!
Another sorta long time lurker coming out of hiding to tell you how much I LOVE/NEED/AGREE with you on this issue!! And I don’t even have a bushel of BEAUTIFUL kids like yours to fight for my attention– Just a GREAT fiancee and two gorgeous pooches, and about a thousand other more important things to do, including staying in touch w/ family and friends, planning a wedding(!!) and LIVING LIFE 110%, which NO ONE can do in front of a computer screen!! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!! Love your blog, your outlook on life, etc… Much love from Ohiooooooooo!!!
Valerie
here from Monday Mingle and I totally get what you are saying.. and I am going to add this to my goals for this year…following on GFC..and Pinterest
Blog hopping – love this post. My sons are 20 and 16 and I miss sitting down to read with them – time flies too quickly!
perfectly said. we all need to wake up more to this sad reality.
have a blessed week.:)
I got busy and kept forgetting to check all my blogs…turned my back for five minutes, and you’re PREGNANT!!!??!! AIIEEIEIEIE!! That is me shrieking with delight! Congratulations!
Oh, and you don’t know me…I’m a long time lurker, coming out of hiding to comment for the first time. So happy for you!
So sweet. Thank you!
You make some very good points. These are things that we all need to be mindful of. Good for you, for recognizing it and making some important changes.
Its so easy to loose time on those little time saving gadgets!I think every Mum who is trying their best to stay connected to the ‘outside world’ is guilty of letting those precious moment slip by. Chin Up :)Sue @ http://notenoughbutter.blogspot.com.au/
I whole heartedly support you in this. It is so important to be present.
No more long comments on my posts, that should give back 10-15 minutes a week!
Ha! So true. Your blog does me in all the time.
Totally relating…how in the world does “5 min. turn into 30 or more” I dunno. Ok, that’s a lie… I so do. Thanks for the reminder! Oh and what a beautiful family you have….just beautiful….
Thank you