November 25, 2015

That date…will be my son’s birthday.  It’s so strange knowing what day he will be born.   I have always gone into natural labor with all my others, so their birthdays were a surprise.  But we are having a c-section with Aaron, and the date has been scheduled.   It’s actually on the calendar.  My calendar.  Under the Things To Do Today section I have written on the November 25 page:  C-Section 9:30am – arrive at 7:30

So that is the day I will meet my baby boy.  I have such mixed feelings about this.  Of course I want to meet this sweet boy of mine.  But at the same time, it makes me a bit sad.  His time in the womb is numbered now.  I can actually count down the days with certainty.  And once he’s out, he’s on his own.   My body will no longer support his life.  This scares me.  How will his body function without the help of mine?  Will he be able to breathe on his own?  Will he cry, like most newborns do?  Will he be able to open his eyes to see me?  Will he be able to hear my voice?  How long will he be with us?  All these unknowns just about kill me.

I have 5 weeks left of him being safe in my belly, and I intend on making the most of them!

This week I took the kids to a new park that just went up in the new town next to ours.  The kids had a good time, and I did, too.

Audriana took these photos of me on the swing.  My center of gravity is way off, and I felt so awkward …but I was determined to give Aaron his first experience on a swing.  So we went back and forth, back and forth… I hope he enjoyed it.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  I felt a bit ridiculous.

This photo of A.J. pushing Aiden high on the swing is my favorite one of the day.  Can you see the joy on Aiden’s face?  I just love this photo.

I am at 34 weeks today.  The photo below was taken last week when I was 33 weeks.  I’m a bit behind in my blogging but I didn’t want to skip posting this photo.

I had another ultrasound last week (at 33 weeks) and the baby was measuring 4 pounds 12 ounces.  That weight is a typical weight for babies of this gestation.  So this means that despite the Trisomy 13 and the expectation that Aaron’s growth is going to slow, so far it has not and he is a normal size baby.  As always, this could change as the weeks go on.  But for now, I’m happy that he’s growing on target.

I also met with the head NICU nurse at the hospital that I’m delivering at, and she gave me a tour of the NICU and also answered some questions I had.  We had a meeting with one of the neonatologists there, too, and he got to know us and spoke with us about Aaron and heard our expectations of his birth and follow-up care.  That was a hard meeting to have, because he went over “best case scenario”(Aaron coming home with us) and “worse case scenario” (Aaron passing away shortly after birth)  and what would be done in each situation.  It was hard to listen to the possibility that we might only have minutes with our baby.  Of course I already know of this possibility.  But still.  It’s hard to hear someone else say it, especially a doctor.  It just makes it seem more real, I guess.