Good mommy moments and bad mommy moments. As mothers, we have our share of both every single day, yet we seem to mention our bad mommy moments way more than we mention the good ones. Why is that? Why do we put more focus on the bad mommy moments? Is it because we are too hard on ourselves? Or is it because we don’t recognize the good as well as we recognize the bad? Today I’m going to write about one of my most memorable good mommy moments. It’s something that I think back to often, and I think it’s worth sharing.
So it was Valentine’s Day 1997. Yes, I’m going waaaay back. I was a young mom with a 5 year old, 4 year old and a 17 month old. My days were busy and hectic and I hardly ever had any time for myself (hmmm, not much has changed in 20 years!) yet on that day I had made plans for Rich and myself to go out on a double date with a friend of mine and her husband. We rarely went out back then, so this was a special occasion and we were both looking forward to it.
These three kept me busy back in 1997
Earlier that day, I sat at the edge of my bathtub painting my toenails a vibrant red, getting my feet all prettied up for my night out. Audriana, who had just turned four two weeks before, wandered into the bathroom. Her eyes lit up when she saw what I was doing. “Mommy!” she said, “Remember you said you would paint my toes!” I had been telling her for about a week that I would paint her toenails, but things would always come up and I kept putting her off.
“I know, Audriana. And I will paint them. Soon.”
“Soon now?”
“No.”
“Why not?!! Can’t you just do them now? Please!” She made that squinty-eye pleading face, complete with the head tilt. So cute, but I wasn’t in the mood.
“No. I’ll do them later.”
“When later!” she demanded to know.
“Just later, okay? Right now I need to get mine done because I’m going out tonight with daddy and I need my feet to look good.”
“I need my feet to look good, too!” she persisted.
“Audriana….” I warned, lowering my voice just a bit to let her know I meant business.
She made a face and then wandered out of the bathroom. I finished up my toes, put the bottle of polish on the bathroom counter, and did the duck-walk back into my bedroom. I flopped onto my bed, grabbed my book and started reading while my toes dried. After about 20 minutes, Audriana came into my room holding the bottle of nail polish. “Audriana,” I said. “Go put that back in the bathroom right now.”
“But mommy….” she began.
“Now.” I said.
“But you said you’d do it later! And it’s later now!”
I pointed to my bedroom door. “Go put it back,” I said. She frowned, did an about-face, and marched herself out of my bedroom with heavy, stomping feet, the bottle of nail polish gripped tightly in her little hand.
Audriana, on her 4th birthday
The day went on and I was busy doing my usual mom stuff, and I also I managed to make a quick trip out to the mall to buy Rich something for Valentine’s Day. Before I knew it, dinnertime had arrived. I made the kids a quick dinner, fed them, bathed them, got them ready for bed, and in between all of that I managed to get myself ready for our night out.
It was 6:00 by the time I was ready to head out the door. My mom was there, ready to take over the care of the kids, and Rich was already in the car with the engine running, waiting for me. I quickly grabbed my purse, hurried downstairs, and I was starting to put my shoes on when I saw Audriana sitting at the base of the stairs with the bottle of nail polish in her hand. She looked up at me and timidly asked, “Now, Mommy? Do you have time now?”
this is what she looked like, sitting at the base of the stairs that evening
Rich honked the horn. He hates being late, and I always made us late.
In that moment when I was in such a hurry to get out the door, the last thing I wanted to do was to paint my daughter’s toenails. How simple it would have been for me to tell her once again, “Not now. Later.” and continue on my way out the door. But a feeling came over me, and suddenly being on time meant nothing and my daughter meant everything. I smiled at her and said, “Okay, let’s paint those pretty little toes of yours! Red for Valentine’s Day!”
She smiled the biggest smile ever as I bent down and started to paint her toes. I took my time, even though Rich had given the horn another “beep! beep!” at me. I ignored him and just painted her little toes in that same vibrant red that I had put on my own toes earlier that day. When I was done, she looked down at her toes and smiled. She said, “Thank you, Mommy!” and put her arms around my neck and gave me a tight squeeze. I kissed her good-bye and hurried out to the car.
Rich with Anthony, Audriana & Afton ~ January 1997
As we drove away Rich grumbled on how we would probably be late because it took me so long to get out of the house. I just smiled and said it would still be a good night for us, even if we were a few minutes late. I tried to explain about Audriana and her toes, but he was too focused on getting us to the restaurant on time to really hear me. During the drive to the restaurant, my mind kept thinking back to Audriana. Why did it take a week of her asking for me to finally paint her toes? It didn’t take all that much time, and look how happy it made her! I’m so glad I painted her toes before I left! — It was a good feeling.
So this was a good mommy moment for me. But it didn’t end there. Three days later on our way home from a day in our local mountains we were involved in a horrific traffic accident. Audriana was hit in the head and ended up on life support and was in a coma for about two weeks, and it was not certain if she would ever wake up. Day after day I spent at her bedside, watching all the machines do their job at keeping her alive, and as each new nurse came in to care for her, they would pull back the blankets to stretch her still, lifeless legs, and the first thing they would say was, “Look at those pretty red toes!”
Every doctor and nurse made a fuss about her pretty polished toes. Although she was in a coma, they all told her how pretty her red toenails were, and I knew that if she was hearing them she was beaming inside. And I’d sit there with tears in my eyes, so thankful that I had taken the time to paint her toes that night. I know it sounds like a little thing, but it was huge for me. Those little red toenails were a daily reminder that I had made time for what was important to her.
I think back to that time often. Twenty years has passed, and in that time I have had many other good mommy moments, but none have made me feel as good as that one. It remains my biggest reminder to never be too busy for the “little things” kids ask of us, the things that don’t take all that much time but we keep putting off until later. It’s so easy to brush these little requests off during our busy days. But it’s these little things that are their big things, and I always want to be the kind of mom who makes time for the little big things in life.
“Take time for the little things in life,
for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.”
me with Audriana, February 1997, a few days before her acciden
I think it’s important for us moms to realize that for every bad mommy moment in our day we probably have twenty or twenty-five good mommy moments, and it’s time we start giving our good mommy moments some attention. Do you have a good mommy moment that sticks out in your mind? If so, please share in the comments. I’d love to hear them!
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This is such a heartfelt post. It is so true that we as Moms are way too hard on ourselves. We are very willing to say what we did wrong, but we don’t often talk about what we do right. Your story about your daughters toe nails reminds me too of all the times Ive felt like Ive let my kids down when they wanted something. But, it never fails they want something at the most inopportune time lol. Ive had to remind myself that I just have to make sure I follow through on what I say I will and remind my children I love them and would do everything I could, if I could. thank you so much for sharing your post in the #allformamas link party I will be sharing this on facebook and pinterest. I have also added a group page for the link party and would love for you to join https://www.facebook.com/groups/276562626115637/
Omg! I’m crying! What a beautiful post! I am so guilty of open promises and never living up to them when they need to be acknowledged. Oh how my heart hurts. Im alone most of the day with an 8 yr old, a 2 yr old, and a 1 yr old. It gets pretty hard all day, everyday to keep up with everything. My husband doesn’t usually get home till 7p.m. and is gone before the sun or our kids are up for the day! This really puts everything in perspective for me. To be more present and really invest in my children. Everything else can wait and that saying always irritated me because no it can’t, it’ll pile-up! But all that means nothing if I couldn’t make my children happy in the moments they want me. What if, I had to spend the next day in the hospital. I couldn’t forgive myself. Thank you for this! ❤
Wow, what an amazing post. It really is the little things that can make the big things more bearable. What an emotional time for you all. I bet you never paint your nails without remembering that day. I shall be painting my daughters toe nails next time she asks, I always seem to have what I deem as more important things to do. Not now. Thank you.
Oh wow your story absolutely floored me, I was crying at the nail painting but the car, oh my. I’m so sorry you went through that and I’m so glad you painted her nails, I can imagine just how you felt in every part of that story!
Thank you so much for sharing on the #FriYAYLinky
Thank you 😉
What a lovely, emotional post. I’m so sorry what you and your daughter went through though xxx
Thank you 😉
Oh my, I really didn’t expect your story to take on that twist! Thank goodness you took out time to make a good mummy moment which came back to give you comfort in what must have been a really difficult time.
It really did bring me comfort, even to this day. So glad I painted those toenails!
This was lovely to read. When I get into bed after what feels like a bad day, I always get a flood of all the good things that happened and I realise it was still a good day! #FriYAYLinky
When I go to bed at night I try to recall all the good things, too. Makes me sleep better 😉
Hiya,
I’m new to your blog but this is one of the most moving posts on motherhood I have EVER read (and I have read a lot!). It really reminded me of earlier today when my four year old kept asking me to help her staple something…I had just sat down after school, tea, washing up and I told her I just wanted 5 minutes (to scroll through my phone). When I eventually sensed the sadness in her voice, I put my phone away and helped her make a little pair of glasses to play a trick on Daddy who was due home any moment.
I’m literally in floods of tears after reading what happened, and I can’t thank you enough for inspiring me to be a better Mum after reading this.
Awww, I love that you “sensed the sadness” in her voice. What a good mama to have tuned into that. So glad that you made some special time for her in that moment. Thank you for your comment:)
This reminds me of a WONDERFUL post of yours from several years ago, right when I first found your blog. It was about TURNING OFF your devices (and all of our other distractions) and making time for REAL LIFE!! I’m not a mom, but this made such a HUGE impression on me!! So true!! Is there any way you’d be able to find it and put a link up for it again?? LOVE your blog and wish I could meet you and your crew in “real life!!” MUCH LOVE from Ohiooooooooooo!!!
Valinohio
H Valerie,
You are so sweet – thank you. Yes, I will look for that post and if I find it then I’ll link it in a current post
This post is so beautiful-and I believe massively, that all decisions we make for our little ones are based on some kind of mummy fate!
x
You are probably right, Jemma
I had one yesterday with my 3 year old granddaughter (hope that counts). I was making the bed and she got under the comforter with a flashlight – thought about telling her to move so I could finish but thought better of it and let her play. Did my heart good as well.
Yes, granddaughters count! I’m glad you let her play under the covers with a flashlight – sounds like such a fun thing for her to be doing especially when grandma is trying to make the bed!! And beds will always need to be made, but she will only be this age once! Great grand-mommy moment for you 😉
I was post partum with a 2 week old, a healing c section and spinal headache. My 3 year old wanted me to paint her fingers and toes. I crawled out of bed and onto the bathroom floor to paint her nails and toes. My husband scolded me but I felt good.
Whoa, you are a Rock Star, mama – that had to have been painful, but yet you put your little one’s feelings first. What a great good mommy moment for you to look back on. Thanks for sharing
Beautiful post…I seem to have something in my eye, so I can’t comment any more.
Rich always says that — something in his eye, or his allergies are acting up. LOL
Sweet story.
Donna, NY
Thank you
A good mommy moment! A good reminder to make time gor those moments. It is so hard to be still and play “dragon” or “race cars” even for just 5 or 10 minutes when there is so much to get done… dinner to be made, dishes to put away, clothes to fold, toys to pick up… but my boys won’t remember the work getting done… they’ll remember our times playing together. I needed the reminder. Thanks for being a great mommy- you are raising some great kids and encouraging moms (me) to take time for the important kid things ♡
It’s so true how the kids won’t remember the house being clean or work getting done, but they will remember the times that we played with them! I still remember how my mother used to color with me, and she’d play games with me like “hide the button” and I couldn’t have been more than 5 years old, but I remember it like it was yesterday
Wow ! I totally am reminded of what a great Mom you are ! I love your Mom insnstincts and heart ! See you soon
Thanks, babe! Your words mean a lot to me. See you at home <3