So I’m going to tell you a little secret. I’ve been pregnant five times since having Aria, my last baby, who is now 3 and a half years old. Obviously since I have no new babies this means I’ve had five miscarriages. The first two I’ve written about, but the last three I’ve kept to […]
I took a nap, but I’m not pregnant!
Today I woke up feeling yucky, kinda like a cold was coming on. My nose was stuffy, my body ached. The first thing I thought was “Ugh… I have no time for this!” When I say I have NO time to be sick, I’m not kidding you. The house completely falls apart when I’m sick. […]
recovered thoughts
Today I was clearing out my blog files and deleting the posts that were saved as drafts. Many of them were duplicate posts, a few were posts that I decided not to publish…and then I found the one below. I wrote this the day I tested positive with my last pregnancy (which was lost earlier […]
another loss
We were expecting another baby, due date October 5, 2011. I am at the 10 week point tomorrow. But, the ultrasound yesterday showed that baby has no heartbeat, and in fact had passed away at about the 7 week mark. Poor little one. Again, I am left wondering just who that little one was? A […]
Sweet Words
Last night at dinner some of the little kids were discussing Heaven. I don’t know if it was because we had just come home from 5:30 mass and they were commenting on something said during the sermon, or maybe something else brought up the subject, but I overheard the conversation as I was clearing the […]
a quick get-away
It’s September already! The summer is ending and school will be starting up in less than a week for us. We have exciting things coming up: Avery and Alex will be going to “real” school for the first time, in 4th and 5th grades. A.J. will be going into second grade. Aislynn will be starting […]
Dancing in the Rain
It’s been six weeks now since the miscarriage. Sometimes I feel like it was sooooo long ago, but six weeks really isn’t that long. I guess I’ve surprised myself by how well I am feeling these past couple weeks. I didn’t expect this. In the first few days and weeks I just *knew* I’d never be fully happy again. […]
Mind Games
I miss my little one. I miss going to bed at night with my hand resting on my budding belly. I miss the plans I had for this little one. I miss the dreams and the visions that I had of him or her joining our family. The ache is incredible. I never knew that […]
The Cart
Last Friday, I took the six little ones with me to Target. We had some shopping to do and it felt good to get out of the house. I love Target. I swear I could spend hours in that store! For those of you who are familiar with the Target carts, there is this one […]
Grief
Rich is back home today after having been at work for three days straight. So I had three days to do things on my own around here, and if I do say so myself, I did pretty good. I managed to catch up on all the laundry, and I managed to……. well, I guess looking […]
Loss
This is a post that I have been putting off writing. I find it very hard to say the words out loud, much less write it out in a post on my wonderful blog, my blog that is usually so happy. But here it goes…. I had a miscarriage on Tuesday, June 8th. I was 11 weeks […]